not what I had in mind


I’ve been missing you blog, and have so many things to tell you. So, Mother’s Day is a great place to slip back into the groove, right? Since motherhood is such a big part of what we do here, I’ve got no shortage of cute pictures and funny little events to share.

But then, this happened. 


For some Moms, today is not a day of flowers, gifts, Hallmark cards and restaurant brunches.

Some Moms find this manufactured holiday to be one of hearts torn open and salt poured into the jagged-y gaping wounds.

I don’t know for sure how this happened, and never will. Bling took a good day to process it, and is still standing guard over the spot, even though her calf is no longer there.  

So now, my goofy, sunny, clown of a cow, Bling, is no longer the happy innocent she was three days ago. Oh sure, she’ll rejoin the herd, and will reach a place of knowing that at dinnertime, when all those bouncing, bucking calves run to their mothers for dinner, hers is not coming.

Bling will suck it up, she’ll beg for some extra chin scratches, endure her uncomfortably stretched udder, and will assume a weird new place in the herd – not one of the mothers, yet not one of the silly heifers either.  She’ll carry on, and rejoin, but she is changed.

So, all ye moms in pain this day, I see you. 

Endure, survive, carry on, and rebound at your own pace.

The world needs your broken heart. 

10 thoughts on “not what I had in mind

  1. It is so difficult to see an animal mourn the loss of their young. They have feelings like we do, they just process it differently, this is so sad to see today. I have never lost a baby/child but you can see the pain in her eyes, and yes she will need extra love and care until she can replace the pain with love.

  2. I am sure she mourns as I and many others morn the loss of a child…she has a remarkable owner who will give her the love and comfort she needs right now.💔❤️💓💕

  3. So beautifully and poetically written. I hope that any of God’s creatures who have felt the pain of a lost child will, in their own time, rebound and be made whole.

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